epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can I color on your dick again?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
