just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize