I cockslap morals
I puked a lego.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Can you bring me the toilet please
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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