woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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