you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
