White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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