We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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