I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We are all done wearing pants today
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
