I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
