You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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