That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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