At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
