i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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