he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
