I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize