on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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