dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
