We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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