he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
