Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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