man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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