I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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