i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
