She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize