guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
