Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want to make a zoo with you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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