Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
