Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
