The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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