so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
