I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
