You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
