so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
