she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
