I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
