Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
