he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
