She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i think im in europe. pls send help
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
