I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
