So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
