I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
