I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
