I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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