i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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