I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
