Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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