all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
