I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
