i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Even my vagina gasped.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
