He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
