apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
