Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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