My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize