His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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