I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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