ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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