i always forget guys have bellybuttons
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
