sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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