Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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