Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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