But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
