Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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