Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
