So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
FUCK WHALES
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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