What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
