She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
