Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
