Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
