Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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