Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
