Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
