Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
