I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
