Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
