AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
