This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
