your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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