I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize