I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize