she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
