If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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